


You Hold Onto Me Like I'm A Crucifix

by Jean_C_Pepper



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-08
Updated: 2010-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-13 03:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_C_Pepper/pseuds/Jean_C_Pepper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the sequel to The Shocking Revelations One Finds While Drunk</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Hold Onto Me Like I'm A Crucifix

I hate you for this  
For having been so damn right.  
I pull you to me.

We can't escape this.  
So don't you even try, Bat.  
Destined. Forever  
From "I'll tell you in a haiku" by Newbluemoon.

 

"Master Bruce!" Alfred's voice rang out like a whip-crack, despite the returning pain in his head from the hangover.  
Bruce sat up abruptly, his body colliding with that of the Joker, who was still sitting and smiling at Alfred.  
"Alfred," Bruce looked groggily at his butler. "Un, Alfred..." his voice trailed off.  
"I would like to speak to you if it isn't too much trouble," Alfred said, icily.  
"Yeah, can you give me about 20 minutes, Alfred?"  
"As you wish, sir. I will be outside watching the news." Alfred exited in an indignant huff.  
"Shit!" Bruce ran a hand through his hair and looked at his bed-mate. "Shit shit shit." Bruce's jaw was set.. This wasn't how he planned to wake up. This was going to be an ugly conversation between him and Alfred. One thing Bruce knew, there was no way he was giving up the Joker.  
"Looks like Jeeves was pretty upset," the Joker observed.  
"Shut up," Bruce glared at his companion. "You'll stay here." The last thing he needed was the Joker riling up Alfred during an already tense situation.  
"That's no fun," the Joker pouted.  
Bruce ducked into the bathroom and took a 3 minute shower. He wasn't looking forward to this conversation with Alfred, but it needed to be said. Even Bruce recognized that he wanted to be caught and had wanted it out in the open for a long time. Granted, it looked bad to have it happen on the anniversary of Rachel's death, considering what she meant to both him and Alfred. Still, he wasn't about to let the Joker go, so Alfred needed to know that.  
When he got out of the shower, the Joker was lying on the bed. He had turned on the wall mounted television and was watching cartoons, still nude. Bruce pulled on a long sleeved black t-shirt and black jeans and then went to speak with Alfred.

Alfred was sitting on the couch, sipping at headache medicine. He looked tired and old and Bruce immediately felt contrite for causing him pain. He didn't know how he would make him understand that he needed to be with the Joker. It wasn't just that he wouldn't give him up but that he couldn't give him up, no matter how much Alfred wanted him to.

Bruce sat down on the couch and neither man said anything. Bruce picked up the phone and ordered three coffees from the shop in the lobby. He owned the entire building so they jumped to send up three coffees and some croissants. After Bruce finally hung up the phone, Alfred spoke.  
"You know, Master Bruce, I can kind of understand how something like this could happen. You and the Joker. He has always aroused passion in you. He shakes you up and makes you furious. None of your other villains have done that. You don't react this to the Penguin, the Riddler or Catwoman. Well, maybe a bit for Catwoman because I think she intrigues you, but not like the Joker does. He has always gotten your complete attention when he's asked for it. So it's not that far to think that you might end up sexually involved with each other."  
Bruce started to relax a bit. Alfred seemed to understand how things had happened with him and the Joker.  
"But," Alfred continued. "There is a big difference between crossing the line once or twice and conducting a relationship with the Joker. There is a world of difference between passion turning sexual and falling in love with the Joker."  
Bruce's eyes widened at this. How did Alfred know he was in love with the Joker?  
"You may be lying to yourself and he may be too, but I saw it myself. I saw it myself last night, Bruce. You two are head over heels in love whether you realize it or not. This affair isn't going to end anytime soon and it's not going to end well. I can't condone that. I can accept that you and the Joker having the occasional shag, but I cannot cannot accept you conducting a relationship with that man."  
Bruce was silent for a long while.  
"Have you ever had someone who accepted you, no matter what?"  
"I thought I did accept you, sir. I thought that Rachel accepted you."  
"No, Rachel tolerated Batman, as do you. Rachel never stopped waiting for the Bruce I was before my parents died to return. You are waiting for him too. 'Maybe if you pretended to have fun, Master Bruce, you might actually start having some.' 'you need to get out more, Bruce. People will wonder'."  
"I don't know what you're waiting for because that kid is not coming back. He's dead. He died with my parents. Batman is what is here in his place. He was born of that pain, like the phoenix from the ashes. You and Rachel have loved and accepted me, but you've only tolerated Batman. He doesn't. He's not waiting for that 'same great kid I used to be' to make a reappearance. He's happy with Batman. He accepts Batman. I don't think you know what that means, knowing that there's one person that I can totally be myself with. Knowing that he accepts me as I am."  
Alfred was silent and the doorbell rang. It was the coffee and croissants from downstairs. Alfred brought the tray in and Bruce fixed a cup with lots of cream and sugar and placed a blueberry croissant and a chocolate croissant on a plate and took it into the Joker. The Joker was still laying on the bed nude, watching TV. He was laying so still that Bruce thought that he might have gone back to sleep, but he looked up as Bruce came in.  
"Breakfast," Bruce set it on the night table next to the bed. He paused for a moment to admire the Joker's scarred and naked form. He didn't know about the Joker, but his ass was certainly sore. They had fucked themselves raw last night, both taking turns bottoming. It looked like penetrating sex was off the menu for today. Still, Bruce felt his cock stir at the sight of his naked lover.  
"Is Lurch trying to convince you to rid yourself of your evil lover?"  
"We're just talking. I'll be in soon."

When Bruce returned to the living room, Alfred asked him. "And is that how you accept him, sir? As he is? Because he's a mass murderer. He killed Rachel without a second thought. He's completely amoral and he's a wanted terrorist."  
"Do you think I don't know that, Alfred, " Bruce asked quietly. "Do you think that I haven't said those same words to myself a thousand times? Believe me, Alfred, I would stop it if I could, but I can't. What he provides is too vital. It's like air to me. I need to be with him."  
Alfred sighed a long sigh.  
"Sir, I am not going to turn you in. What happens in your penthouse stays in your penthouse. But, I will need to process this and it isn't going to happen overnight. I am going to need a vacation. I am not quitting and I am not abandoning you. I said that I would never give up on you and I won't. However, you can't just expect me to open my arms to that maniac and welcome him home. I want some time-away- to think about this. To process this. I am going to go somewhere that is not here for at least three weeks. I trust you can manage without me in that time."  
"Of course, Alfred. Phone my secretary and she will make the necessary arrangements."

Alfred left later that day. Bruce didn't even wonder that Lucius decided to go on vacation at the same time. He knew that Alfred would come around but it would take time. He hoped the English butler had some fun and relaxation on his trip. As for himself, he decided to stay at the penthouse and the Joker stayed with him. It was messy enough that by the third day Bruce phoned for some maid services while he and the Joker took a ride on his motorcycle. Helmets are very concealing so no one knew who they were.


End file.
